I miss you; really.
Its been such a long time and I think I still don't know what love is.
How can I have SO much yet be SO unsatisfied?
I don't know if its just me...maybe it is?
I NEED a man, not a boy.
I NEED a leader, not a yes-man.
I NEED stability, not always guessing.
I NEED confidence, not mistrust.
I NEED to be true, not lying.
I NEED alot more than I can say or think of now.
But I've told you all this before and all you did was nod your head and say yes yes yes.
I try to say it nicely and not offend you many more than once,
but I've come to realize now, that I CAN live without you,
that I am lonely even when I have you,
that I fight my own battles with you watching,
that I will never be a part of your life,
that I always am ahead of you,
that I want more out of life than you,
that I am able to lie to you,
that I had one day where I rather be with my friends than you,
that I will never be a part of your friends or anything you do,
that I am and always be an outsider.
I don't know if is the status in life
or the background
or the upbringing
but frankly I can't take it no more
Above all..I just realized that
I want to be loved and TAKEN care of
and I don't want to love and TAKE care or MOTHER other for the rest of my sad fucking life!
---
but am i ready to move out of this space i find so comfortable in?
