bits&pieces......and a void.

i feel like puke.
i can't quit the pills.
i need to hold on to something.
something that will always be there.
with or without pain; i need it.
it fills this void.

i want to be petite, cute&sexy.
i never can bear the though of being bigger than TheBoy.
like Beastly&TheBoy -.-
i want to feel like a feather..free&sipirited.i want to ultimately be 40kgs.
it would be insane nuts!
i am s sure im more than 47kgs by now.
so 40kgs would be the biggest achievement.
sucker that i am


.......................


just cause i am ready.
ready to make sacrifices.
deosn't mean others is ready.
to make THEIR sacrifice.

i cannot throw a fit.
i cannot blame or point fingers.
i cannot doubt.
i cannot get angry or irritated.
i SHOULDN'T.

because I myself chose to be transparent.
to be wholly commited.
entirely giving.
100% trusting.
and made a vow to not expect.

so i shall not want.
i will be patient for;
love is patient.

..................................


i'm irritable.
if this is how it's like to get well,
i don't want to.
i'm sick of being sick.
but i'm sicker of loosing people just cause of my irritability.
pfft fuck that!

........................................

now i'm a KDU student.
some sacrifices =)
i hope it well worth my years.
i shall pray.

.......................................

i want my business plan to work.
i want my lisence to go smoothy as planned.
i want to be a top student when i start.
i want ife to be passionate and full.
i am TRULY SICK TO HELL with all this laidback nonsense.
No satisfcaction whatsoever!!!


*sigh*