i did it again!!!

I so am screwing up.

Last night had two Tandoori Chicks. Plus the bits and pieces. Today at brekkie I though..ok I feel like fuck, so I had clear soup with some beansprouts. By a certain time I felt like vomit so I has a cold cold pear. That helped and I purged of the feast last night. Oddly enough, I felt hungry again! AT noon! So I decided what the heck..I've still got near to 2 weeks to be skinny before I jet off to Melb and stuff my fat body with more fatty but delicious Melb food!

OH GOD! I NEED XENICAL! NOW!

Cause when I thought "Heck, I'm gonna eat." My cravings called for OILY MAX food.
Nasi Lemak..LEMAKKK... and McDONALDS! McFATTY!
Oh mannn..

SO I popped pills as usual..and more so cus the fucking sky decided to cry today...just as I stepped out from the main doors. *sigh* Not only is this thing dring me insane, it's making me rude, obonxious and rude? argh. I feel like I need to swear at me everythime Jody misbehaves and eat like a piggy. And because I was sleepy; yes I fell asleep on my table *teehehe*, I consoled my already fat and PROTUDING TUMMY that since I've already eaten Nasi LEMAK, what difference would it really make if I ate some oily chicken balls right? WRONG! Cause...when Jody does that, she thinks she's at a All-u-cat-EAT-till-u-purge buffet!!! So I went and got 6 chicken balls and 2 nuggets...YUK YUK YUKKKK-a-rammmaaa! Even just the though of it is grossing me out. But you know WHAT?

The fearless JODY thinks shes some goddammit hero and thinks that the minute she has a chance to go to Guardian to get her body soap, pregnancy test and pills..she will buy more Xenical. And mind you, Xenical ain't cheap at all. But Do I think its worth the money? HELL YEAH! I have been on it for half a year plus I'd say. And boy its bad, I know. All that air and eekk...but the relief whenever I tale a crap and see all that oil. Its like....fats be gone! Fats I can consume and still stay more or less same. PLUS..I know these are results I can see. I hate all those fiber drinks and shit..thay don't work. Not anymore. Just lots of bloatness and no shit. And nothgin happens. AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Oh I can't wait to get off work. Go to Melb and hopefully have a restful holiday where I don't eat too much. Hopefully I can start a restful night tonight. Sleep like normal..I doubt so though. The amount I've consumed today AND the pills I've taken to eleminate the consumption is beyond...beyond...thoses days where I'm-trying-cut-down-pills&get-well...

ARGH..NOW I FEEL LIKE CREAMY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fuck!

WHat's wrong with meeee??? Only two thing for NOW I can imagine...
PERIOD or PREGNANT?