to begin with, these pills aren't even herb based. All drugs. What do I expect right? So I feel myself shitting out things I've consumed, like as if I have diorreah after eating at the dirtiest mamak around town. Funny thing is, it's all so liquid. That means, all the electrolytes, salts and nutrients comes out at the same time. So I am getting weaker and weaker. Which is BAD. I need to slow down on the pill intake; BIG TIME!
So, that's what I did after that rojak-vomiting incident. And today I took merely 5 pills. A vast improvement from 10 or 20 pills. Yet, after lunch of just a bowl of "pan mee" , which of course I only consumed the soup and "liew", I had the most unpleasent series of burping! And THEN, the volcanic eruption of fake vomit came! Dammit I hate that. I rather just vomit straight!
Anyway, I sat there thinking; "NO!!I will not vomit today, I want to get well so keep it in. It was just so minimal I ate!" And here I was so desperately wanting to get well and keeping my food in, but defy logic, I HAD to vomit. So I gather myself up and everything; now this is beyond even me when I want to vomit, and went to the toilet and shoved my fingers down my throat. I am beyond what happened today. How can it be that FIVE pills, without even a Xenical mind you! I feel so pissed.
Things are never 100% the way you want it.
BEACOLUX is a drug based laxative : doesn't smell, small and in a bottle for easy access.
SENOKAT (or whatever the spelling) is a herb based laxative : smells, bigger and in the plastic cases; have to press out one by one.
Best thing bout the drug is; its cheaper. So that's where all my money have been going. I think I should go back to taking the herb, it doesn't make me vomit!!!! @_@
But so..what's worse? BEACOLUX or SENOKAT? jeez.....I like BEACOLUX cause I shit more out? Makes me thinner, faster....BUT I cannot take the vomiting!!!!! And God knows how much more I have to suffer! I have 4 MORE full bottles of 'em! Good grcious, I will be a STICK by the end of it all!
*sigh*
Still can't comprehend! All I ate was FRUITS and the Pan Mee SOUP! People who don't know about the pills say that my body system is too used to not consuming that I can stand a day without food and not feel hungry! And that the minute I put anything IN the system will tell the body to make it go OUT!
Now I feel so neausated I am scared of the pills. I just know that when I feel better I will go and let my fucking itchy fingers grab that little bottle and pop a few of those orange things that are killing me! *sigh*
If only I had the determination like I THINK I have.
I want to die right now. Period.
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